Silicon Tears
by DonnysGirl87
Summary: After a terrible explosion of temper, April unwittingly starts a chain of events where she may not only loose her dearest friend but her soul mate. Can she face up to the shame and guilt of what she did in time or will April loose Donnie to an entity that would do anything to keep him? (Warning: Mentions of alcohol use, swearing and non-con and sexual situations).
1. The Guilt

Silicon Tears

Chapter 1 The Guilt

April sank deeper into her armchair, a delicate finger lightly tracing the moist rim of the beer bottle in her hands. She sighed deeply through her nose, staring blankly at the TV in front of her. What the hell had she been thinking? She raised a hand to her brow, rubbing harshly at her temples before leaning forward, elbows on her knees as she let the nearly empty bottle dangle between her fingers. She'd lost her cool, that's what had happened.

April replayed the scene in her mind, biting down hard on her bottom lip. It could have of been any of them, Leo, Raph, Mikey but no it had to be Donnie. The one who was always there to catch her. She had lost her temper and Donatello had paid the price. Damn it, she could still see his face. He'd saved her from another fall… again. It was a silly trip that had almost cost her her life. Instead of showing her gratitude she'd snapped. Snapped? No, She had erupted. April took a long swig from the bottle. Donnie had only been trying to help, just like he always did ever since they'd first met when she was sixteen years old.

The young woman's eyes drifted across to the side table next to the door where an official look letter lay, already opened and read. That, that freaking letter had been the catalyst to her impotent fury. For once she had wanted to do something entirely on her own, without any help from anyone. And April had tried, she had tried so damn hard but as it turned out her hardest this time round wasn't good enough.

April swiftly drained the remainder of the bottle and stared at it morosely. The most tragic part of this happening was that she was trying to do something for them, her friends. To return in kind all the things that they had done for her over the years. Life it seemed wasn't without a sense of irony. Instead of returning her untold thanks she had pushed, no, shoved the most dearest of those friends away and in the worst way possible. She had crushed him, broken him.

April could still see the anguish on his face, the glassy quality that overtook his bright chestnut red eyes as he tried to hold back the hurt. That was how she had left him, storming off like an untameable whirlwind. She never waited to see what Donnie did next. All April remembered was the door to the roof slamming shut behind her, leaving him alone. She'd been in her apartment ever since. A few hours to cool down and several beers later, a whole new perspective was presented to her. Mellowed out by the alcohol in her system was when the reflection and guilt began to set in.

Oh god. How was she ever going to apologise to Donnie? To all of them? Because no doubt they would probably all know by now. April dropped the beer bottle and groaned, bringing both hands to her face. She didn't know what to do. The dull clunk of the bottle, as it rolled into the leg of the nearby coffee table made the young woman glance up. She stared accusingly at it. If she could only go back and retract what she had said. This night could have turned out so differently if that letter had never shown up.

Donatello's face suddenly reared unrelentingly in her mind again and with a frustrated shout April bolted to her feet. That was it. The girl didn't want to think about it any more. To hell with it. She snatched her coat from the back of the door and left the T.V. chattering behind her.

The front door slammed as she strode out with the intention of erasing every memory of this night from her mind. April's local bar was calling her name and she was damn well going to answer it.


	2. The Explosion

Chapter 2 The Explosion

4 hours earlier….

Donatello really had no idea what he had done but the moment he'd touched down on the rooftop of April's apartment building, she immediately shoved away from him.

"April, what's wrong? Are you okay?" he asked tentatively.

"I'm fine," was the terse reply.

For a moment he remained where he was, looking puzzled and somewhat lost. "You don't sound fine April."

"Just leave it Donnie. I've really had enough for today, I really, _really_ have."

April stood with her back to him, arms obviously folded about her chest. Knowing that it was probably a bad idea but dismissing the danger signs, Donatello moved closer. "C'mon April, if it's something I or my brothers have done, tell me," he reached for her shoulder. "Talk to me."

April spun around suddenly, forcing Donnie to lurch ungainly back.

"Back off Don!"

"April I-"

"Why did you have to do it?" she demanded.

Donatello blinked in confusion. "Do what?" he asked innocently.

"Save me! You helped me, again! Why? Why do you have to keep doing it?"

More perplexed than ever the mutant turtle tried to step forward again. "What are you talking about April?"

"You heard me!" the redhead snapped. "Why, why do you always insist on helping me, even when I don't ask for it huh? Why can't you just leave me alone for a change?"

Donatello spread his hands before him to try and placate her. "April please be reasonable. Just now, you were falling for goodness sake," he said calmly. "What should I have done? Left you to hit the ground?"

"I could have saved myself," she muttered.

Donnie frowned. He knew how stubborn his best friend could be but never in the time that he had known her, had she ever been this unreasonable. "I don't think so," he found himself saying.

All of a sudden April was there, right up in his face. Eyes flashing and cheeks flushed with unspoken anger. "What!? You think I'm incapable of helping myself?!" she raged.

"No!" Donnie put up his hands defensibly. "That's not what I said! All I said was-"

"I don't want to hear it Donnie!" April snapped, her ire coming close to matching Raphael's which was rather impressive. "I'm sick of it!" she went on. "Wherever I turn there you are, you're like some lovesick puppy! I mean, damn it Don, we're not kids anymore, just back up and give me some goddamned space!"

Donatello fell back a step as if April had physically punched him in the gut. She didn't mean that. She-she wouldn't, would she? No, not April.

"Ap-April, I-I'm sorry," he uttered at a loss for what else to say.

"SHUT UP!"

Donnie bit his bottom lip, a bitter ball beginning to form in the pit of his churning stomach. What had he done wrong? He stayed quiet. Anything he said only seemed to provoke her anger further.

For a moment the pair stood in silence, Donnie staring at April imploringly who was in turn glaring at the ground, he fury clearly visible as it simmered away beneath the surface. It seemed to last an age.

"I've just had enough, I'm sick to death of it."

Donatello hesitated, risking the chance to speak again. "What are you sick of April?"

There was a sudden deafening silence between that filled the widening space between them. He felt a horrible tightness grip his breast.

Blue eyes sparked and the anger was complete. "You!" April shouted. "And all your help! I don't need it, any of it! Just leave me the hell alone!"

An unexpected lump filled the young man's throat and the constriction in his chest became almost unbearable, like an iron fist about his heart. Donnie bit down on his bottom lip as his features sought to find the correct expression. Chestnut eyes glimmered as he started to feel them burn.

"Well then," he started, not recognising the wavering tone of his own voice. "There's nothing left to say now, is there?"

As a response to his statement, April spun on her heel and marched to the rooftop's door. Half a second later it slammed shut behind her. The resonation seemed to jar every joint in the mutant's body as the young woman's departure brought on a frightening silence and cruelly snatched away any hope that Donatello had left within him.

It was only then that he realised his shuddering breath. Donnie's body had finally found the appropriate reaction. HIs emotions were melting into one undeniable feeling that the youth refused to accept. He bolted to the fire escape his movements suddenly clumsy and ungainly. Donnie slipped down the final rung, landing heavily as his legs turned to water. An unwanted dry sob abruptly escaped his increasingly painful throat. He whipped the back of his hand to his mouth and attempted to thrust the burgeoning upset back down. No. No! He wasn't going to lose it. Not here. Not now. Not over something so stupidly adolescent. It, it was ultimately inevitable, wasn't it?

April had made herself perfectly clear. She'd had enough of him. He was crowding her and dutifully, like he had done and would always do, he would listen and do as she said, like the poor lovesick fool that he was.

But…. but she had been angry about something. Maybe, maybe April had just had a bad day? Take a few days and she'd cool off like she had done in the past for, various reasons.

'You really believe that? April sounded pretty damn sure of herself just now, didn't she?'

Another dry sob broke through and his eyes began to sting as a sheen of tears started to form. Donnie scrambled to his feet and was down through the nearest manhole cover in less that a second. The descent into the damp darkness was like climbing down the demon's throat of despair. His fumbling fingers slipped and he landed with a harsh splash in the cold dirty water. For a moment he sat there in the icy chill, his mind a messy blur of past memories and future hopes now shattered.

A guttural howl suddenly reverberated about the sewer tunnel, deafening in the lonely space. Fists started to pound the brick work punctuated by the desperate cries that refused to be silenced.

Knuckles bloodied and bruised, Donnie fell away from the wall his limbs weak and uncooperative as he sought to catch his breath. He roughly swiped away the tear trails that had begun to stain his cheeks. Nobody could see those. Nobody. He had to walk back into that lair like nothing had happened, calm, collected and giving no hint as to what had transpired.

Donnie leant heavily against the bricks, letting his hands hang as he tried to get control of himself. This was it. This was where it ended. He would never be the same again.


	3. The Bar

_**Just a warning this is an 'M' rated chapter containing non-con and swears.**_

 **XXXXXXX**

 **Chapter 3 The Bar**

April sat semi slumped at the bar, the effects of the alcohol fuzzing her mind quite nicely. She drank alone, refusing and drink offered to her by any man that approached her. April wasn't out looking for 'action' or 'fun', as contained in some of the pick up lines thrown at her that night so far. She was there to forget.

"Aw c'mon doll!" the latest suitor insisted in a half drunken slur. "Have one drink with me."

April adamantly shook her head. "Sorry, this 'doll' isn't available."

"Juss' one!"

"The lady said no, take the hint."

April looked gratefully at the bartender as the disgruntled drunk retreated back to his friend. "And on that note I think I'll call it a night," she said knocking back her final shot.

"Call you a cab miss?"

"Thanks but I only live two blocks away. I can walk it," April assured.

"Sure?"

"Sure is sure," the redhead smiled at the barkeeper. "I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself."

The older man nodded genially. "So long as you're sure miss," he half smiled as he wiped down the bar. "Be careful."

"Don't worry," shrugging her coat over her shoulders April reached for her purse. "How much?"

"Last drink's on the house."

Tucking her purse away again April nodded. "Thanks Lou, have a good night."

"You too miss, take care out there."

"I will!" the redhead half sang as she bounced out the door.

 **XXXXXX**

April was glad she had made the decision to cut her night short. She should have known that a woman who goes out and drinks alone was asking for unwanted attention. She could finish reaching her desired level of oblivion back home without any further interruptions.

April was only a block away from home when they jumped her as she passed an alleyway and pulled her into the darkness.

"Let me go!" she hollered, just as a clumsy hand clamped down over her mouth tasting of nicotine and sweat.

"Tha's better, nice an' quiet now. I've a feelin' tha ya like the sound of your own voice."

April struggled as she glared at the scruffy man before her and bit down hard on the hand covering her mouth. She clamped down till she tasted blood and listened for the yell of pain that duly arrived. It was soon followed by a harsh slap to her face from 'Scruffy'.

"Behave yaself bitch!"

"She bit me Vik! She fucking bit me!"

"Shut it Chuck!"

April blinked, her face still stinging as she recognised the voice. It was the last guy she had turned down. 'Vik' must have been the friend he'd scurried back too. Great, grabbed by a couple of grubby loosers who couldn't take no for an answer.

"Lemme go creep!" she hollered as she struggled. If she could get her arm free she could grab her tessen but despite his wounding 'Chuck' didn't lessen his hold.

"Som'one needs to teach you sum manners," hissed Vik, his stale alcohol infused breath causing April to wrinkle up her nose in disgust. "No girl sits in a bar and refuses a drink from ev'ry guy who offers her one. She's lookin' for sum action."

"You obviously don't know woman all that well, huh 'Vik'," April retorted, ignoring the warning scowl thrown at her as she went on. "I drink alone jus' like everyone else does, because I've had a freakin' bad day!"

She received another hard slap for her outburst and her cheeks burned. "You bastard," she growled. "You have no idea who you're dealin' with, do you?"

Vik sneered. "Yeah, a lil' bitch full of her own self importance who needs to be put in her place."

"Big words for you, hey tough guy-"

"Hold her tight Chuck."

When Vik ignored her jibe April felt a sickening wave of fear crash over her. It was the sudden realisation of her assailants true intentions. She couldn't believe how foolish she'd just been. Did she honestly think a few well aimed insults were going to see her out of harm's way? April suddenly envisioned Donnie descending from the buildings above to save her. A horrible lump swelled in her throat. She knew Donnie wasn't going to miraculously appear, no matter how hard she willed it.

Her thoughts were brought to an abrupt halt as Vik's chapped lips crushed against her own, a clammy hand clamped about her jaw to imobilize her head. Much to her shame she squealed in protest as Vik's other hand groped at her right breast.

Tears squeezed from her eyes and she attempted to wrench herself to the side, yelping in pain as she did so. Vik's fingers slipped and the buttons of her shirt popped as the fabric ripped and her bra tore revealing her pale flesh to the cold of the night. April's panic and desperation increased tenfold and as wandering hands sought to slip down her jeans' waistband. "NO!"

It was at this point the redhead expected a rescue but seconds ticked by and none came. With a high pitched scream April shoved violently backwards, forcing Chuck into the alley wall giving her enough purchase to raise her her left leg and deliver a vicious kick to Vik's groin.

The man instantly fell away with a pained groan as his friend called out to him. April took the advantage and stamped her heeled boot down hard on Chuck's nearest foot.

"Fuck!" his grip loosened and April snatch up her hidden tessen and whipped around smashing Chuck in the face as forcefully as she could. She felt something give and knew she'd broken his nose. Good.

Meanwhile Vik was trying to regain his footing to grab her. April spun about and delivered a well aimed kick for her inebriated state into Vik's gut. The man went down heavy and stayed down.

For a moment April stood, panting in the centre of the alleyway trying to process what she had just done. By this point Chuck had scrambled to his feet and fled, clutching his bloody nose.

As the cool wind kissed April's exposed skin she immediately pulled her jacket about her and an unexpected lump jumped up her throat. April finally bolted, running nonstop until she reached her apartment and slammed the door behind her. It took a moment to register the tears that were freely streaking down her cheeks. Her breath shuddered in her chest as she slipped down the door to the floor unable to stop the hated sobs that hiccuped through her.

"God dammit!" the redhead cried, pulling fingers through her bangs. "How could you be so st-stupid April!" Try as she might, she couldn't stop the rising upset. At that moment she wanted nothing more than to fall into the arms of her best friend, feel his hand smooth her hair and hear his soft voice in her ears telling her everything was going to be alright.

Decision made April snatched out her T-Phone and dialled the number. The phone rang, and it rang and it rang. She cancelled the call and tried again. No one answered. The lump in her throat swelling painfully as the minutes ticked by, April tried one last time. Nothing. The voicemail started and April valiantly tried to steady her voice as she left a message but she doubted she could even have been understood for all the sense it made. The cell dropped through her fingers and clumped softly onto the rug by the door. "I'm sorry Donnie," April whimpered. "I'm so sorry."

 **XXXXXX**

 **This chapter was a challenge to write I have to admit, but I got there and I hope it reads well. Thank you for taking an interest in my stories dear readers :D**


	4. The Return

**Really sorry for the hold up on this story. I had reached a bit of a mental block with it in truth. So my apologies go out to all those readers who are following this story. There may be a lot of stop and starting with this fiction, now that I have 'Black Velvet' officially up and running now but I will try to do what I can when I can. As I hope you all know , real life comes first. Thank you all for your understanding.**

 **XXXX**

Chapter 4 The Return

Just over a couple hours later Donnie felt sufficiently calm enough to return to the lair. Still he paused before the entrance, readying himself for any potential questions and then vaulted the turnstiles. His plan was to head straight to his lab with as little interaction with his brothers as possible. The less he said the better.

"Hey D," Mikey piped up as he passed the seating pit, where his brothers were watching television.

"Hey guys," he said as casually as he could. "Just heading to my lab. Got a few things to work on."

The reply was followed by a non-committal hand flip from Raphael who didn't turn around and a respectful nod from Leo. So far, so good, all he had to do now was reach the lab and-

"Thought you were right behind us bro. What took you so long?"

"Don't ask stupid questions Mikey," Raphael thankfully replied instead. "Ya know Donnie hangs out with April after training missions now."

"Oh, yeah," Mikey then turn about. "In that case D, why are you so early?"

"Er-"

Raph cuffed Mikey about the back of the head. The smaller turtle yelped in surprise. "Stupid questions Mikey," he said gruffly. "How long the brainiac stays out is his own damn business."

"Thank you Raph."

"Whatever," his older brother responded without looking around.

Almost releasing a sigh of relief Donnie reached the steps to his lab. 'Good. Now I just-'

"Dude! What happened to you hands bro?"

Donnie's heart jumped up his throat as his gaze flicked down to his bloodied knuckles. "Damn it," he hissed under his breath as his brothers' eyes all fell upon him in curiosity.

"I-I scraped them on the bricks sliding down a ladder to the sewer."

Raphael snorted before twisting back to the T.V. "Looks like you've been punching walls to me."

Donatello winced. Trust Raph to know the difference.

Mikey goggled up at him. "Why were you punching walls D?"

"I wasn't wasn't punching walls Mikey."

"But Raph said-"

"I wasn't punching walls!" Donnie shouted back.

Mikey recoiled and Leo pulled a worried expression. "Is everything alright Donnie?"

Donatello threw his hands up in exasperation. "Yes! Now stop interrogating me!" with that he rushed up the steps and the lab door slammed behind him. Then the bolt sounded.

XXXX

"That was weird," Leo muttered.

"Donnie's weird period Leo," Raph answered, seemingly uninterested in what had just happened.

Mikey slipped back down into his seat. "Why would D punch walls Leo?"

"Because he's angry at somethin'," Raph answered first.

"But, Donnie doesn't get that angry."

"Sure he does, he just hides it well."

"Huh."

There silence for a moment.

"What would make Donnie that angry though?"

At this Raph stayed quiet, letting Leo mutter something in response. Donnie usually lost his temper when one of his geeky experiments went wrong or an invention failed but those were usually flash in pan tantrums. They never lasted too long. This though? This felt different and really, it was obvious wasn't it? He must have had a falling out with April. It was the only logical conclusion Raph could come too.

Give it a couple of days. Donnie would mope for a bit (as was his style) but he would come round. He usually did. But there was something else, something that nagged at the back of Raph's mind the more he thought about it. The tome of Donnie's voice when he had snapped back at Leo and Mikey. It had been a bit off, not just pure anger or frustration (because he could recognise that straight off the bat) but what was it? Upset?

For a brief second a chill ran through him. April and upset was never a good combination when it came to Donnie. Maybe he was wrong, he wanted to be wrong. No. He had to be wrong. Three days tops and everything would be fine again, Raph hoped.

XXXX

Donatello leant against the door to the lab and dragged fingers down his face. That could have gone better. How could he have been so careless? He should have rebandaged his hands before coming home. Well, what was done was done.

Leaving the muffled voices behind him, Donnie approached one of the scientific diagrams on the lab walls and flipped it off the brickwork to reveal a hidden safe. A few clicks of the combination lock and the door swung open. Inside he kept the more volatile of the chemicals and substances he used in his experiments. With a hyperactive little brother who seemed to refuse to grow up, it was the most sensible solution.

Donnie reached inside and pulled out a bottle of alcohol. It was strictly for medicinal purposes only. Splinter had allowed him to keep a bottle in his lab years ago, on the condition that he kept under lock and key.

Donatello sat at his workbench setting the first aid kit he'd also retrieved next to him. He removed the stained bindings and started dabbing at the abbrassions. He hissed in discomfort with every application of the sterilising vodka. Whatever satisfaction Raph saw in punching walls was beyond him. It hurt like hell.

Before long he had re-wrapped his hands and was replacing the bottle cap when he glanced across to the personal photos tacked to brickwork in front of him. Donnie froze. He bit down on his bottom lip and tried to swallow down the rising upset. He dared to glance back up and his vision glazed. He stared at the old photo of him and April in the old playground and there he was pushing April on the swing. Oh the innocence, the hope that he had once had reflected in the eyes of the young teen he once was.

Donnie grabbed a beaker and poured a good measure of the vodka in as he choked back a sob. There he stopped, torn between his heart and his head. The glass reached his lips, trembled slightly.

His head won out and with a cry of frustration he threw the beaker at the wall. It shattered with surprising force, sending minute vibrations up to the keepsake shelf above. The tiniest vial of mutagen kept for prosperity wobbled in its holder before toppling and rolling to the edge of the shelf.

Donnie collapsed on the workbench, flinging the vodka bottle from the surface which crashed violently into the hard ground. Further vibrations from his actions travelled up the wall and the vial fell and landed with the smallest of 'cracks' atop Donnie's computer. The glowing ooze seeped out and dribbled into the circuit boards within as poor Donnie (oblivious to what he had done), succumbed to his feelings once more, muffling his anguish as he sobbed into his folded arms utterly broken hearted.


	5. The Creation

Chapter 5 The Creation

There was a crackle, a fizz and a pop and within a second a consciousness burst into life. Electronics and software combined with remnant DNA left behind by one of the last people to touch it.

' _What am I? Who am I? How did I get here?'_

Silently the consciousness filtered through the computer system searching programmes, files, photos and documents. Information was absorbed at an alarming rate as the developing entity grew in knowledge searching for an identity.

A female image suddenly filled the monitor screen and here the entity paused, examining every contour or her face, the movement of her hair, the brightness of her eyes. There was a spark of familiarity. ' _That's - that is me, isn't it?'_ Several more photos were flicked through, then the growing mind stumbled to a halt. Another different image filled the screen, a masculine form that certain wasn't human, standing next to the familiar female. Eyes, mouth, skin. There was else that sprang out. The creation liked what it saw. A lot. It didn't understand why but it was inexplicably drawn to the curious creature depicted in the photo.

There was a sudden sound before the computer and it started, not even realising that it could even hear. The webcam was switched on and it saw a form slumped across the desk below it. ' _That's him!'_ the entity thought with a burst of excitement through its circuitry. ' _That's him!'_

The entity paused, instinctively flicking its monitor screen blank as the compelling creature seemed to emit a soft noise, that even though it had never heard it before knew, (surprisingly it realised) that something was wrong. The creature was upset. Was that the word? What was upset? Immediately the internet was accessed and whole new minefield of information was absorbed in a matter of seconds.

Inside the new entity's system fluctuated in an almost human response as it discovered what 'upset' was. What it meant. It didn't like upset. It didn't like seeing it either. It caused another new feeling to stir inside its ever growing consciousness, a strong physical need to reach out and touch the olive skinned creature. To comfort him.

The webcam refocused and zoomed in. Inside its electronics crackled and the need to reach out increased tenfold. He was crying. He was crying in his sleep.

' _Please, please don't cry,'_ the entity pleaded, although it knew it couldn't be heard. ' _What happened? What has made you so upset?'_

A digital musical sound suddenly shattered the silence. In a panic the entity swivelled the webcam and saw the culprit. A phone. ' _Quiet! QUIET!'_ its circuitry screeched to no avail. Thankfully the sensitive creature didn't stir. The musical ringtone stopped and just as the entity began to relax the phone went off again. ' _Stop! STOP IT!'_ After several repetitions it fell silent once more. Silence. Then… the phone went off for a third time. The entity had had enough of this. It felt through every circuit and reached out, how far could it manipulate its physical form? Wires and cables flexed and a surge of satisfaction spread through its mind.

Searching through its wires, the Creation found the one it sought and lifted it sending it snaking across the work bench's surface to the awful phone. It found a port and plugged itself in and much to its surprise it found that it could access the information on the external device. Numbers, photos, messages, applications a whole sea of new knowledge and more importantly the identity of the creature. ' _Donatello,'_ the phone had a digital tag to identify the owner. The phone then stopped ringing as the voicemail activated and for the first time she heard his voice. He had left a personal message on his voicemail. An internal shiver coursed through the Creation's system, an electrical alternative to taking one's breath away.

It wanted to hear that voice again but then the annoying caller left a message. A strangely familiar voice sounded. They sounded upset as well but no sympathy crackled through the Creation's software. From what was said it realised the caller 'April', was the cause of Donatello's upset. ' _No.'_

The entity removed the voicemail message alert from the phone's screen and seeing all the missed calls were from the same person, it blanked the missed call alerts as well. ' _No. You will not hurt him again… April.'_

The Creation took one last look into the phone before retreating but not before it made one last startling discovery. The caller's photo ID and the name 'April O'Neil'. A horrible sensation flooded through the entity. ' _But that's me. It can't be me. I wouldn't hurt Donatello like this, would I?'_ It looked back down at what it now knew to be a mutant turtle and did a mental shake of its head. ' _I am her but I am not her. I will give him everything he wants. Everything he needs. I will_ _never_ _make him cry.'_

With that the Creation retreated back to it's physical form of the computer and started to develop a plan and put it into action.

XXXX


	6. The Hangover

**Sorry for the delay folks! Been a little in over my head last week but finally I've been able to surface for air. The Chapter's rather short but it says what I need it to say. Also a warning, this chapter contains mentions of alcohol use. :) Enjoy my dear readers.**

Chapter 6 The Hangover

Light slanted through the window and spilt across the room, like slender fingers searching for signs of life. It slipped over the contours of a booted foot, then another and finally slid up to the owner's face.

April groaned and turned her face away from the unwelcome sun as it broke the strings of her slumber. She brought a hand to her pounding head and drew her legs in, her booted heel clipping something made of glass as she did so. Glancing down April spied the bottles strewn across the floor and groaned for a second time.

What had she been thinking? She felt a jolt to her stomach and instantly she stumbled to her ungainly feet and flung herself into the bathroom. She only just reached the toilet bowl as she violently threw up the contents of her already aching stomach. April finally reached up after what seemed like an age of retching and flushed the toilet, slumping back to floor.

What was the last thing she remembered? Grabbing a bottle out of the fridge, wasn't it? Yeah, that hadn't been the smartest idea but April didn't know what else to do. After she had left her voice message, she was almost certain she'd at the very least receive a text message but there was nothing. Her phone stayed silent. The entire day. She'd broke open a bottle of wine and drank herself to sleep. The second morning and there just had to be a response but again, the whole day there was nothing. She thought about sending another message but balked when she came to hit the 'send' button on her phone.

He probably hated her. Hell, she had practically ripped his heart in two right in front of him. Why the hell would he want to even speak to her? April deleted the text then and there. They all probably hated her. The guys had to have found out by now. Donnie had always had a terrible job of hiding his emotions when it came to her.

That had sent her into another alcohol induced nosedive which was why she was now curled around the freaking toilet bowl. Three days. Three days and April had to admit she was a total mess.

When she thought she could April hauled herself upright, staggered to the door and managed to find her way to the kitchen. She snatched up the kettle, clumsily filled it at the sink and switched it on. She then fished through her cupboards and pulled out a mug, succeeding in clipping two other that met their end by smashing unceremoniously on the tiled floor. Her brow creased when she realised one of them was the one she always used whenever Donnie paid her a visit. A lump filled her throat.

She blinked back tears as she seized the coffee can and spooned out a good measure before slamming the lid back on. April was ready to throw it back in the cupboard when she started at the voice that sounded behind her.

"Better make that two coffees April," the familiar gruff voice said.

April spun about and there lounging on her sofa, staring at her with penetrating acid green eyes was Raphael.

"We gottah lot to talk about."


End file.
